Letting Go of the Anchor

For a long time, I felt as if I was treading water in the middle of a black abyss, aimlessly doing all that I could to just only keep my head above the surface. But this is not something I noticed right away. It took years of treading water and nearly drowning before I realized it was happening. And so forth, I continued to tread and kick until I was so tired of fighting that my head would slowly slip beneath the surface just in time for me to realize it, before I would start tirelessly kicking again.

It was not something that I wanted but something that I was comfortable with because it was familiar. Constantly, so close to drowning until one day I realized something I had never noticed before. I was holding something in my hands and not using them to keep me afloat. It was a very heavy anchor. I had been holding it the entire time and I was gripping it tightly as it fought to pull me down. The anchor was one thing and several things. An unhealthy relationship I was afraid to let go of, anger, resentment, and hurt from my past, self hatred for putting myself in such a trying situation, and many more. All of these things packaged into an enormously heavy weight that I was so willingly holding onto while it was pulling me down to my demise.

Becoming aware of the anchor I grew angry. Why was it trying to kill me? Why did it have to be so heavy? Avoiding the dire question, why didn't I let it go? This anchor was what was familiar and although it was killing me it was something I couldn't seem to let go. I wished I could go back before noticing the anchor because knowing it was there made the fight to stay above the surface that much harder. I held onto it tightly for as long as I could until it finally was pulling me under to the point I was no longer strong enough to come back up for air. Finally, I knew what had to be done and I let go of the heavy weight. It swiftly sank and I rose. Breaking the surface so easily, I was able to use all of my ability to keep above the water. And at this point, instead of focusing on the difficulty of trying to stay afloat while holding onto the anchor I could finally take the time to see my surroundings, which were a beautiful fuchsia and orange sunrise over the sparkling aqua water, a happy seagull flying through the fresh morning air, and in the near distance, land.